quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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