I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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