Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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