I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
