Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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