with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The uberlube is also flammable
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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