tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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