remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
