He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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