I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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