i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
