He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I look better un-naked...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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