haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Randomize
