with your own penis?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
