I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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