I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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