I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
