Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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