I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
