That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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