He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
