Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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