tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
