Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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