I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
