Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
