you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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