A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
