I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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