Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
