At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
