At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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