U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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