it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
