do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
