Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
