Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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