Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
