I skipped work to stalk him.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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