I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
