she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
