His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
