capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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