currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
