YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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