in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
