That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
