What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
smell my finger.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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