"it" just moved
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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