Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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