Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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