sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
